Fake it 'til you Make it!

I love the phrase "fake it 'til you make it" because it truly embodies the idea of Law of Attraction. Basically, it reaffirms the notion that anything you let your mind believe can happen will manifest tangibly. It may start out as a dream at first, but if you act as if your dreams are indeed your already existing reality, you will manifest those dreams! It's kind of a chicken v. egg situation or very circular thinking, but it works!

The key is not to let yourself, or outside influences, try to dissuade you otherwise. A lot of "haters" of law of attraction "poo-poo" it because they feel that it's "not living in reality" or "not facing reality." They argue that because you're living in a fantasy/la la land, you're not facing what's in front of you.

This is where law of allowing comes in. It may be the case that your reality is not matching your vision or dream. It's ok. "Allow" you're reality to exist, and then put a positive spin on it. For example, if your dream is to be debt-free, but your reality is you have a balance on your credit cards, then first acknowledge the existing reality for a brief moment (allowing), and then envision your dream (attracting) by saying "I chose to be debt free."

The "allowing" part is important because it helps raise your emotion to a better vibrational state then to be pissed off at your current situation. Saying "I acknowledge the debt" is a much higher emotion then "I'm so sick of this debt!"

Another key component to point out the I've started to see a lot more law of attraction enthusiasts discuss is the notion of believing. Linda Miller does a really good job explaining what I like to call the "law of believing." Basically, what you want to manifest in your life has to be believable to *you*. It needs to be something that passes the laugh test. For example, to dream that Brad Pitt is going to leave Angelina Jolie for you is *not* going to pass the laugh test. But to dream that your soul mate will enter your world *is* much more believable. That's why Linda likes the phrase "I chose" when expressing affirmations. "I chose to have $100,000" or "I chose to be debt free." These are more believable than "I have $100,000" or "I am debt free." When you make it a matter of choice, it seems more realistic.

Keep fakin' it 'til you're makin' it!

The Opposite of Desperation is Faith

I love this post from blogger MetaAlpha. He hits the nail on the head when he identifies that the opposite of desperation is faith.

In law of attraction, desperation is the enemy. When you come from a place of desperation, you will not attract what you desire. The only thing the universe hears out of desperation is fear and lacking. Desperately needing a job or desperately wanting a mate is a very low-level vibration because it is coming from a place of fear. The universe will pick up on the fear, and will attract more fear and desperation into your life.

So, I thought it was brilliant when MetaAlpha identified how to turn feelings of desperation around into feelings of faith. When you feel yourself being "desperate" about something, switch it to faith. For example:

Turn "I really need a job because I'm down to my last cent" to "I have faith that the proper job is coming my way!"

Or, "I feel lonely. I need a man, stat!" to "I have faith that my perfect mate is on his way to me."

This is such a easy tool to get yourself out of a place of fear and anxiety. Try it!

Another Reason Why Meditation is Important

When someboday first embarks on a law of attraction journey, it is usually because some facet of his or her life is "not working", i.e., money, career, relationships, health, etc.

What sometimes happens is that the person utilizes law of attraction to fix that one problem, which is great.

But then the person, having "fixed" the problem, either stops using law of attraction, or continues to use law of attraction on that problem, while other aspects of the person's life suffer.

In other words, the person did not take a "total life approach" towards using law of attraction.

I learned this the hard way. When I first starting using law of attraction techniques, I was really focused on finding a mate. And guess what? A little over a year later, I found my mate!

So, then I stopped using law of attraction because my life was perfect, right? Wrong. I did not use law of attraction to maintain the relationship. And I did not use law of attraction for other aspects of my life in the meantime, and I started having problems at work.

Law of Attraction is a "total life approach." It must be applied to all facets. Life Coach Elizabeth Grant has identified several life areas where law of attraction is needed:

- Money and Finance
- Health and Wellness
- Career and Personal Goals
- Love and Relationships
- Spirituality
- Home and Living
- Life's Purpose

This is where meditation plays an important role. Taking time to meditate will help you recall and focus on *all* life aspects, not just the one that is the most important or most significant to you at the moment. It will keep you from neglecting other parts of your life and help maintain balance.

Don't forget that you have the right to have all areas of your life be full of abundance and satisfaction. Don't sell yourself short!

Meditation

A key component in using law of attraction is meditation. Every law of attraction book and pundit will tell you this.

Meditation is a sure-fire way to allow your mind to visualize your desires. It is a direct path to manifestation since you are lasering your mind directing on your thoughts, while blocking out all other interruptions.

I have never been particularly good a meditating. I don't have a lot of patience to begin with, so the thought of sitting quietly "doing nothing" does appeal to someone like me :-)

So how do you meditate when you've never done it, think it's silly, don't have the patience for it, or your home is too chaotic to do it in (kids and pets running around, cell phone always ringing, etc.)?

The thing that has helped me with meditation is actually meditating with a crystal (by "crystal" I mean a quartz crystal, not your crystal china or a bottle of "Cristal"). Find yourself a nice size crystal with some weight to it. It does not have to be expensive. You can get a nice sized rose quartz for under $10.

Crystals have energy just like we do. Simply sit indian style, holding the crystal in your lap. Close your eyes. The weight of the crystal will relax you and get you into a meditative state. Start thinking about your desires. Start invisioning. The crystal's energy will work with you. There are many varieties of quartz crystals that will work - tiger eye, onyx, amethist (expensive!), citrine, smoke quartz. They each have different properties.

You only have to do this for 1-2 minutes to get results. Two minutes is a long time. Set a timer if you want. Keep the crystal by your beside and do this right before you go to sleep. Do it with the covers over you as you lay in bed. Just 2 minutes before bed is all you need. That's all you need to start meditating and manifesting!

Energizing Your Home

Law of attraction can pertain to any aspect of your life - health, money, relationships, work. But sometimes we forget about our own homes! When our households are in a state of disarray, chances are that the negative energy from our homes will permeate other aspects of your life. The home truly is where the heart is!

So if you are not happy with your current life situation, no matter if it's money, work, health, parents, spouse, etc. my suggestion is to start with you home first. If you make your home a place of peace and happiness, the energy from there will transcend to other facets of your life. I think Peter Walsh, the clutter expert, hit the nail on the head in his book, Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?. The chaos in your home will cause chaos in your life, pure and simple.

I say start with the home because I think it's the most easy place to start with change. You can do it yourself, it involves no investment in your part other than time, and it will make you feel good instantly, I promise. Here's how to start:

1. Start with the closets. If your material goods can't be hung or put in a proper storage bin (a pile under the bed does not count!), then you have to make space. Do not try to overload your home with things that do not fit in it. Your home won't like it. If it hasn't been worn in over a year, toss it (by "toss", I mean donate to charity or give to a friend, clothing swap, etc.). If it doesn't fit anymore, toss it, even if you think you'll get back your college body *someday*. Trust me, even if you do get back your college body, you're going to want new clothes anyway :-) If the item expensive, sell it on ebay or take it to a consignment shop and use the money in the ways I recommend below.

2. Next go on to books, appliances, toys etc. If there's no place to store it, abhor it!

3. Buy 1 feng shui book and use it to rearrange furniture in your home in accordance with it. A note about feng shui. Feng shui is the ancient eastern art of placement and energy alignment for the home to help bring positive energy flow to it and to you. A lot of feng shui deals with colors in your home. That's not something you should engage in right now. Let's just work with what you have. Simple furniture rearrangement can improve the energy in your home tremendously.

4. Buy a crystal and place it where your home needs the most help. For relationship issues, it's the bedroom. For money issues, it's the home office, etc. Your feng shui book will help you in this regard as well.

There are many other tips, but this is just a start. Just changing up your household here and there will create new energy. They say even moving your bed just a few inches to the right or left will create new energy.

So start with this :-)

Getting Wrapped up in the Mundane

So, as you can see, we haven't been posting for a while. We're hoping to change that with new inspiration and energy towards this blog!

Personally, I had let myself get wrapped up in the mundane and I lost sight of the tenents that I have been pontificating about all along :-) I lost sight of my law of attraction principals and got caught up in the day to day grind. And what happened? I fell off my path! I lost sight of my dreams! I failed to manifest! Lions and tigers and bears! Oh my :-)

So what should you do if you fall off the law of attraction path? You can get back on the horse easily.

1. Recognize that you are not engaging in law of attraction. It's just a simple acknowledgement that you haven't been focusing your intentions purposefully throughout your day to day routine.

2. Take a deep breath. Tell yourself that although you may have abandoned your law of attraction principles, your life isn't over. In fact, it just begun a new :-)

3. Get back on the horse. Nothing in law of attraction can't be fixed. Start by revisting some chapters in a book that has helped you in the past. Do some affirmations. Review an old journal with your visions and dreams and reconnect with them.

4. Start anew. Create new dreams and visions. Chance are what you were intending to manifest 6 months ago or last year isn't the same as what you want now anyway. Create a new vision board. Do an energy cleansing of your home. Get some new books. Re-engage and re-charge!

Come One, Come All, to our Next Meet Up at Cafe Citron!

Local Law of Attraction enthusiasts, we're excited to meet you! Vanessa, Leslie and others will meet at 7:00 pm on Friday, May 9, at Cafe Citron, 1343 Connecticut Avenue, NW. (a few blocks from the Dupont Circle stop on the Red line.) You'll recognize us by our Law of Attraction books. Please contact vanessa@vanessacurto.com for more information.

Lessons From a Five-Year Old

Over the weekend, I visited some college friends in Pittsburgh. I met up with one of my close friends, a mother of two who had an extra kid in tow (babysitting for a neighbor).

The extra kid was named Dora. She was 5 and just as precocious as Dora the Explorer. For some reason, the forces of attraction were working and we instantly became friends. In fact, it was her proclamation ("I made a new friend!"). She wanted me to hold her hand, take her around a campus festival and not leave her side. We bonded within a course of minutes. I had no expectation of this at all (My intent was just to spend quality time catching up with my friend), but I could feel the connection between me and Dora, despite the clear difference in age and mental and physical capababilities.

This goes to show that law of attraction is not limited to adults. This is not an "adults-only" concept. A vibrational connection can occur with all living things - peers, elders, children, pets and all things growing.

The Power of Visualization

I can't think of a better example of how visualization will help you manifest your desires than that of Julia. Julia is a law of attraction contemporary and she has the most remarkable story of how she used visualization techniques to manifest her goals.

Julia had always wanted to live on a boat. She found a picture of a blond woman in a red coat holding two bottles of champagne in front of a boat. Julia always kept that picture in her mind's eye.

After a year of using law of attraction, Julia became that woman in the picture and bought her own boat. The irony is that Julia is blonde and happened to be wearing that red coat on her boat when her boyfriend made the connection between between the picture and Julia. Absolutely amazing. What's more amazing is that, as Vanessa noted at our April first Friday meet-up, that there's something very powerful in being able to mainfest a boat! in less than one year. Brava Julia!

I think everyone should find pictures or drawings of what they desire and post them on a "vision board", maybe near your kitchen so you constantly see it or near your desk if you happen to be in front of a computer. Just like a gratitude journal, a vision board is another tool to help manifest your desires and elevate your emotion.

Our next Metro Law of Attraction meeting is on Friday, April 4!

Are you looking for like-minded Law of Attraction enthusiasts in the DC area? Have you read Law of Attraction books, have you even begun to work with the principles and you've attained rapid transformation in your life, but you're looking for people who can help you take this to the next level? We'd love to see you at our monthly Metro Law of Attraction meeting! Vanessa, Leslie and others will meet at 6:30 pm on Friday, at Piola, 1550 Wilson Blvd. (about four blocks from the Rosslyn stop on the Blue and Orange lines.) www.piola.it. Look for us at the large wooden table near the entrance. You'll recognize us by our Law of Attraction books. Please contact vanessa@vanessacurto.com for more information.

Why They Don't Teach Law of Attraction in Law School

I think that a lot of people wonder why law of attraction did not go mainstream until Oprah endorsed The Secret. Esther Hicks has been teaching the notions of Abraham for over 20 years, yet it took a *huge* celebrity endorsement for the concepts to go mainstream...and I think I know why.

In this country, we care more about one's actions than one's thoughts. "He's a do gooder", "you gotta do what's right for yourself", "actions speak louder than words", and so on. But we know in law of attraction that this is false. Actions are a result of *thinking*. We clearly have a chicken and egg situation!

The best example I can give of the fallicy is for you to step inside any first year law student criminal law course. One of the first concepts you learn is to distinguish the mens rea from the actus reus - the former being Latin for "guilty mind," whereas the latter is Latin for the "guilty act." In America, you are not punished for your thoughts alone. We punish because there has been an actus reus. A person who is thinking about murder is not punished for that thought in and of itself. It takes the act of murder for the crime to actually manifest.

But law of attraction is exactly the opposite! In law of attraction, your mens rea is everything! Without the mens, there is no actus. So the best you can do is to be aware of your mens and make it work for you. The actus will naturally follow.

Using Law of Attraction to Get in Shape

One of the areas where people utilize law of attraction techniques is with their own self image. Usually the person is unhappy with his or her image in some way - out of shape, overweight, cellulite, unhealthly eating habits, aging etc. There is a law of attraction solution to a perceived problem with self-image.

Notice the use of the word "perceived." Law of attraction does not care about your looks. To law of attraction, your body is merely packaging for your energy. Law of attraction does not require you to be a size 4 with big fake gazungas to make it work for you :-) Law of attraction transcends the physical form.

That Being Said, however, your body needs to be nutured and cared for in order for you to raise your own emotions. A healthy body will elevate your emotions. Elevating your emotions to a more joyous place will strengthen the positive vibration you are emitting. You will resonate louder and thus attract like energy more strongly. And, of course, we do live in a material society and it's ok to want to wear a pretty dress or get an awesome hair cut.

So, how do you use law of attraction to get you in shape?

The first thing is to do STOP FOCUSING ON YOUR FLAWS! In law of attraction, we know that your thoughts are energy and energy attracts like energy. Thus, negative thoughts lend to negative energy which means more negative energy coming at you! Instead, you need to invert those negative thoughts to positive ones.

For example, if your negative thought is "my thighs are fat", change that to "I want to look hot in my skinny jeans." If your negative thought is "I'm out of shape", change that to "I want to be able to run 30 minutes straight." If your negative thought is "I have cellulite," change that too "I want be toned."

Even stronger, don't say "I want", say "I have or I am." When you use the word "want" that suggests something in the future, there is some uncertainty still attached to the desire. The better technique is to say yourself and visualize "I look hot in my skinny jeans", "I eat more healthy", "I run 30 minutes", etc. These affirmations will lend you towards the actions needed to get you to your desires.

So, stop staring at yourself disgracefully in the mirror. When you find yourself staring at a perceived flaw, shift your focus and fixate on a body part you are happy with. Then, take it to the next level and affirm your desire ("I eat more vegetables", "I work out regularly", "I love my body"). This will help.

One last point on getting in shape. We know that a happier emotion will make you resonate at a higher vibration. A key way to get a happier emotion is to do an activity you love. So if your goal is to be more active, or do more cardio, pick an activity you enjoy so that your emotional level will be more elevated. Don't force yourself into step aerobics if you know you don't like it. Do whatever it is that makes you happy.

How to Tell Your Loved One about Law of Attraction and not Sound Hokey

One of my big struggles with being a law of attraction practioner is trying to explain law of attraction to people who are not really into the metaphysical, people who think that meditation and visioning are just plain hokey and impractical. These people could be your spouses, friends, family, etc.

There will be a time where you need to "fess up" about your visioning, whether it be becasue you want to make a meditation room in your house, or a family member finds a vision journal you've been keeping, or you just want to be honest with who you are and how you go through life.

There are a number of things you can do to explain to your loved ones what you are doing with law of attraction:

1. Visualize yourself having the conversation with your loved one. Visualize that person listening to you. Visualize that person having an open mind and being interested in your conversation. Visualize that person accepting the method of being you have chosen for yourself. A script may go something like this:

Honey, I wanted to sit down and talk to you about some things I've been trying to make myself a more confident, happier person. Please don't take this to mean that I've been unhappy or have had low self-esteem. I am very fulfilled with our life together as it has been, but I've also been trying some mental exercises that I've learned to make things even better for myself and us. I've been learning some meditation and positive thinking techniques and I've been utilizing them, such as doing visualization exercises and keeping a journal of my life goals. I am sharing this with you because I love you and I hope that you support me in my efforts to try to improve myself in a positive way.

This script may trigger an open dialoque with your loved one about what *are* exactly your life goals. Perhaps your loved one has some goals of his or her own? This conversation can lead to a deep sharing with your loved one that will strengthen your relationship. Your partner may ask you how this change came about. Be honest with your loved one. If you learned about it from Oprah or a book, just be forthcoming. Honesty with yourself and others vibrates very strongly and will elevate your emotions.

2. Anticipate your loved one's concerns and be prepared to address them. Assure your loved one that your are not joining a cult (joke!) or abandoning conventional religion for something more spiritual if you know that it would upset your loved one. Explain that you are merely supplementing your current way of life with a way of being that will enhance the current lifestyle and make it better. Assure your loved one that you are not simply buying into the latest fad, but that you are serious about educating yourself to be a more self-aware and positive person.

3. Convince your loved one(s) that everything you do with law of attraction will help them too. Tell them that a happier you will make a happier them. How can they argue with that?

Proving that Law of Attraction Works

When I first started getting into law of attraction, the realist in me wanted tangible evidence that it was actually working. I suspect most people also crave concrete proof as well. So when I decided to utilize law of attraction techniques in my life, the first thing I did was create a "proof journal" - basically, a written log of everytime I thought of something and it happened to come true.

I first started logging times where I had a song stuck in my head and then heard it being played somewhere. I know this has happened to you as well where you've had a song in your head and then within the next couple of days you hear the song on the radio or in the restaurant, etc. Those types of instances were my first "proofs" that the techniques were working.

The next proofs were ones in which I was thinking of someone and then they happen to call or email me. The most blatant example of this is happened one night where I was fondly thinking about my former secretary Cassandra, wondering how she was doing, etc. I hadn't spoken to her in over a year. The next morning, she had emailed me to catch up.

I'm sure that things like this have been happening to you too. Now you know that they are not random acts of coincidence (what an oxymoron!), but are proof that law of attraction works.

How Did I Get Into Law of Attraction?

My path to law of attraction is probably the same as most peoples'. I was around 30 or 31 years old, single and wondering why I was such a failure in the relationship department. And I certainly wasn't alone. At that time, many of my gal pals were feeling the same frustration.

A friend of mine had gotten herself on one these city professionals mailing lists which blasts upcoming events catering towards singles. One of these events was a one-day seminar on using law of attraction to find love. At that time, I had no clue about law of attraction or energy or anything. I was just a single gal looking for love and was open-minded about attending a seminar about it with my friend.

The seminar was hosted by Dr. Margaret McCraw and she taught the techniques described in her book, Tune Into Love. Both the seminar and book are good on fundamentals, i.e., what is law of attraction, what is law of vibration, using your emotions as a metric for whether your thoughts are aligned with your desires, and so forth - ultimately, how to attract the mate of your desires using all of those elements.

I started reading the book the night of the seminar and it revolutionized my thinking. And this was before Oprah and The Secret and everything else. Here's what I garnered from the book as my first interaction with law of attraction.

1. You attract what you think. Therefore, if you're thinking positively, you attract positive and if you're thinking negatively, you attract negative.

2. Thoughts are energy. Every time you think, you send out a vibration. That vibration is either a negative one or a positive one, thus attracting positive or negative results.

3. If you want to get whatever you want out of life (a mate, financial independence, a new job, etc.), vision yourself with that desire and keep doing it. Again, thoughts are energy and since energy attracts, you will ultimately attract what you are thinking. So make those thoughts be good ones.

4. You know you're doing it right if you feel good. Your emotions are your metric. If you are thinking about something and it's making you feel sad, angry or hurt, then you are not focusing on your desires.

5. To cure the problem in #4 above, change your thoughts and focus on the positive. This will make you have a happier emotion.

6. A happier emotion sends out happy vibrations, which attracts happy desires.

7. In the realm of attracting your mate, visualize exactly what you want in detail. It's ok to be picky. You are in this universe and by virtue of your existence alone, you have the right to want and expect exactly what you want. So if you like tall men, visualize a tall man. If you want tall and wealthy, visualize yourself with a tall and wealthy guy. If you like 'em tall, wealthy and funny, visualize that. Keep going until you feel like you've captured everything. Then make a written list of your preferences and refer back to that list regularly to remind yourself of your preferences and to keep the vibration going.

8. Get rid of the thoughts of "I have to lose 10 pounds to be desirable", or "I'm not attractive enough", or "I have too much baggage", etc. What you think that men find attractive in the conventional sense is not applicable here. You don't have to have model looks to deserve and attract your model man. Law of attraction does not go down that path, so you don't have to either.

9. With respect to #8 above, it's like when someone walks in a room and you just feel their presence and energy. That person owns the room. That person may not be the most conventionally beautiful person in the room, but for some reason, that person has a presence that can't be ignored. That's law of attraction. So next time you walk into a room or bar or restaurant, walk in fearless and with confidence. Feel your own energy inside you knowing that others in the room are feeling it too.

Since that time, I've been with my boyfriend now for almost a year. This stuff really works. Try it. You have nothing to lose at all.

Is Law of Attraction Simply Avoiding Reality?

Vanessa and I had a discussion last night about whether using law of attraction to deal with life's crises is simply a way of avoiding reality. We concluded that it wasn't, but it took us some dialogue to reach that conclusion.

Our thought was that, from the onset, you can't simply avoid negative aspects in your life or responsibilities that are staring you in the face. The credit card bill needs to be paid, the dent in your car needs to be repaired, you got into a fight with your spouse/friend/boss, etc. No amount of meditation is going to make the bill or dent disappear (although many yogis and gurus may say otherwise - that's a whole different topic that Vanessa will comment on at some point :-)).

We do live in a tangible world (again, yogis and gurus argue otherwise, but let's continue). Life happens and it's ok to acknowledge that it does. Law of attraction does not mean ignoring or fighting the bill, the dent or the fight or letting those instances bring you to an angry or sad place; rather, it means allowing life's annoyances to exist.

The law of allowing basically allows (there's that word again!) it to be ok for the bill, the dent, the fight to exist in your reality. Law of allowing means acknowleging that negative thing and not trying to fight or resist it. Law of allowing is proclaiming "I see you bill/dent/fight, I except that you are here, your reason for being here may lend to something good, but in the mean time, I'm going to change my vibration to make you better!"

Here's a personal example. I drive a pretty old black Pontiac. The parking garage at my office job has this white column right where my parking space is and, on multiple occassions, I've dinged my car door on that stupid white column :-) At first, I was so annoyed with all the white marks on my car! But then I made a declaration to myself that I wasn't going to worry about the white marks - they were cosmetic issues that didn't concern the operation car. I was going to move on from the matter and simply take the car to the body shop when I was ready.

Then I was in a car accident where another driver collided into my dinged up door. No one was hurt, but the car door needed to be replaced. The only way for the new door to match my old car was to repaint the entire car! With the new paint job, all the old dings and scratches were completely gone, paid for by the other driver's insurance company!

That, my friends, is law of allowing.